


An Unnecessarily Dangerous Holiday

by Fourthlinewinger, saltlicorice



Series: The Washington Cat-pitals [1]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Valentine's Day Fluff, a match made in chatfic, caps cat fic, nicky is a cat who has feelings about catsup, the brobeans have a refrigerator full of catsup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 03:04:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13672926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fourthlinewinger/pseuds/Fourthlinewinger, https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltlicorice/pseuds/saltlicorice
Summary: Nicky likes his new home. It’s cozy, with plenty of nooks and sunbeams. The humans who share it are young; sometimes they work too much and oftentimes they’re silly, but they’re sweet. Nicky can appreciate that. Most importantly, Ovi is here with him.





	An Unnecessarily Dangerous Holiday

**Author's Note:**

> The file full of notes on the adventures of Nicky-cat and Ovi-cat and the Brobeans and their friends is only growing. I hope you have as much fun reading this as we had writing it!

Nicky likes his new home. It’s cozy, with plenty of nooks and sunbeams. The humans who share it are young; sometimes they work too much and oftentimes they’re silly, but they’re sweet. Nicky can appreciate that. Most importantly, Ovi is here with him.

Ovi saunters up to him as he’s about to doze off in his favorite sunbeam, the one that appears as a slash across the master bed. It only shows up for a few hours a day and Nicky likes to enjoy these hours by napping in it. At times like this, he wonders why it seemed so important to live with Ovi.

Nicky rolls to his side and blinks languidly up at Ovi. “You woke me up.”

“Good.” Ovi is practically purring, completely missing the sarcastic bite in Nicky’s tone, or more likely, willfully ignoring it. “It’s almost Valentine’s Day.”

“Valentine’s Day?” Nicky asks, marginally more awake. Ovi posses a trove of knowledge about human culture. Much of it is inane, but that doesn’t mean Nicky can’t enjoy listening to Ovi talk about it.

“It’s the holiday of love.” Ovi lays down so his face is next to Nicky’s and stretches out to his full length. His legs dangle off the bed. 

Based on Ovi’s explanations, every holiday seems to be about love, about humans who love each other spending time together. Nicky wonders what makes this one special. Every holiday comes with its excuse for celebrating together.

Ovi must read his mind because he continues, “It’s all about celebrating being in love. It’s a day to be sappy and extravagant about loving someone.” He’s grinning, eyes bright. “This is a good house for Valentine’s Day.”

Nicky thinks about their humans, who are very much in love with each other and regularly sappy about it, and he has to agree. They should get to celebrate that, although he’s a little worried about what _more sappy_ will look like for them. 

Ovi curls around him then, positioning himself so Nicky can use his back as a pillow. Nicky likes that even better than the prospect of Valentine’s Day.

 

Nicky finds the boxes that must have tipped Ovi off to the upcoming holiday a day later. They're tucked away at the back of Ovi’s favorite closet, half hidden behind the suits their humans never wear. Suddenly, he isn't so sure about Valentine's Day.

“They're full of chocolate,” he hisses, swishing his tail at the offending boxes with their poisonous scent. They're garishly pink and shiny, five of them tied together with a gauzy ribbon. He resists the urge to pounce on the free end of the ribbon.

“They aren’t for us.” Ovi butts his head against Nicky's. Nicky refuses to be placated by such an obvious gesture. “Chocolate isn't poisonous for humans, you know,” Ovi tells him.

“Not in small doses,” Nicky huffs. “This isn’t a small dose. This can’t be good for them.”

Nicky watches Ovi eye the stack of boxes. Ovi would be longer than it if they laid it on its side, but only just.

“They usually eat healthy food. A few days of mostly chocolate won’t hurt them.” Ovi gently bats the ribbon. “Besides, Tommy was really happy when he hid this in here. He was whistling. Happiness is good for humans.”

Nicky may not agree that eating Kraft dinner three nights a week is remotely healthy or that a few days of mostly eating chocolate is a good idea at all, but happiness _is_ good for humans. It’s good for cats too, and Ovi is happily beaming at the boxes. 

Nicky can feel his resolve softening despite his best instincts. Still, he gives the boxes a long hiss for good measure.

Ovi pounces on him then and Nicky forgets about chocolate and Valentine’s Day for a moment. The holiday is starting to seem unnecessarily dangerous, but it makes Ovi happy. Nicky can give it some leeway.

 

The leeway lasts until Nicky is woken by Burky holding a bouquet of roses, tearing off petals, and scattering them around the master bathroom. Roses have thorns and Burky has delicate hands. He's apparently broken one of them twice; he really shouldn't be handling anything sharp.

Burky steps out of the bathroom, still holding the roses, and sees Nicky on the bed. He murmurs something low and happy sounding as he walks over to Nicky and strokes a hand down his back. Ovi must be onto something with Valentine's Day making the humans happy, but Nicky still doesn't like the thought of thorns anywhere near Burky. He stalks off when Burky begins scattering petals over the bed. Maybe Ovi will have some idea how to stop this madness.

Ovi isn’t too interested in stopping the madness. He coaxes Nicky into napping on the shelf under the water heater vent pipe in the kitchen instead. The shelf is warm and Ovi’s purr next to him is soporific. 

 

Nicky is awoken by Latts banging into the kitchen. More accurately, Nicky is awoken by a stack of pans clattering as Latts pulls one off a shelf, but Nicky is still half asleep so it takes him a moment to place the sound. 

“Ooh, he’s making Valentine’s Day dinner,” Ovi purrs. He’s obviously just been woken too, but he seems much happier about it. 

Not for the first time, Nicky wonders if it’s a blessing to be so immediately alert upon waking. He still feels foggy as he watches Latts pull bowls and spices off the shelves. It must be the fog that keeps him from recognizing the recipe sooner. Latts has a dozen patties made before Nicky asks Ovi, “Are hamburgers traditional for Valentine’s Day?” They seem too common for that.

Ovi seems to agree, if the thoughtful swish of his tail is anything to go by. “Our humans don’t cook much. It’s special for them, so that makes it holiday food,” he finally replies.

Nicky has to smile at that, at the way Ovi says _our humans_. Nicky has his own humans now and he gets to share them with Ovi.

He smiles at the sounds of cooking too, the burgers sizzling in the pan and the crisp lettuce Latts cuts to top them. H’s glad their humans cook for each other, hopeful they’ll get a bit better at it. 

He doesn’t smile at the condiments Latts pulls out of the refrigerator. “I thought you said chocolate was the unhealthy part of this holiday,” he hisses at Ovi.

Ovi is staring intently at the sizzling burgers and takes a long moment to tear his eyes away. “Our humans have good ideas about celebrating. Now what were you saying?”

Nicky nudges Ovi’s shoulder until Ovi turns towards the veritable mountain of condiments Latts has spread over the table. “None of that looks healthy.”

Ovi tips his head consideringly, but doesn’t seem inclined to argue that mammoth quantities of mayonnaise and fake cheese slices are good for humans. Especially on top of towering amounts of chocolate.

There are three bottles of catsup, alone. Nicky would argue they don’t need catsup at all, especially not when they also have fresh tomatoes. Even if they’re insistent about having catsup, there’s no good reason for them to have three bottles.

“That seems like could be a lethal amount of catsup,” he tells Ovi. He’s pretty sure catsup can’t be lethal, but he doubts anyone has studied the effects of massive catsup consumption, so how do they know?

Ovi rumbles in response, shifting his gaze between the catsup and the meat. “That _is_ enough catsup to drink.”

Nicky sighs. Now that they have their own humans, he is becoming well acquainted with Ovi’s fondness for junky human food. He’s not sure why he thought Ovi would be any help in deterring their humans from eating junk food. Nicky is going to have to take care of this himself.

There’s a trash can conveniently close to the table. If Nicky knocks a few of the condiments into the trash, surely no one will notice. It won’t really be wasteful because its all stuff that no one should be eating to begin with.

Nicky leaps from the shelf to the refrigerator, and down to the table. Latts barely notices, but Ovi stares after Nicky. Nicky doesn’t give himself time to swell on the pleased feeling that wells up at Ovi’s attention. He has a mission, after all.

The catsup has to be the first to go. Now that Ovi has planted the idea of drinking catsup in his head, Nicky can't shake it. Humans do bizarre things for holidays, and there's already enough danger involved in Valentine's Day without anyone drinking sugared tomatoes. Knocking the catsup off the table will be viscerally satisfying, even moreso than knocking vinyl bobbleheads off the bookshelf usually is.

Nicky pads over to the trio of catsup bottles and nudges one experimentally. It's heavier than he expected. He pushes it to the edge of the table, moving slowly to avoid tipping it over and not looking up to check Ovi’s reaction. He can picture the amused expression Ovi is almost certainly sporting – he doesn’t need to see it.

When the bottle is at the edge, he eyes the trash can. It’s not quite under the edge of the table, but he should be able to knock the bottle into it with a solid shove. 

Nicky braces himself and shoves the offending catsup bottle as hard as he can. Then he watches as it hits the side of the trash can, and the trash can and the bottle both crash to the floor. He’s not sure if the bottle bursts or the lid pops off, but either way, catsup spreads across the floor, puddling red and thick around the spilled trash.

Latts and Ovi are both looking between the catsup and Nicky, Latts startled and Ovi seemingly torn between glee and concern. Nicky leaps off the table to escape their scrutiny and lands in the middle of the puddle. His paws skid under him and he can feel the catsup coating his stomach and legs and tail. He races out of the kitchen, ignoring whatever Ovi and Latts are doing behind him. 

After what feels like an eternity, Ovi catches up to him in the bathroom where Nicky has wedged himself behind the toilet.

Ovi tries to squeeze in next to him with limited success. He does succeed in getting catsup all over his side.

“Are you alright?” Ovi asks.

Nicky takes stock of himself. His fur is covered in sugared tomatoes and the rose petals Burky scattered earlier. He can hear three voices in the kitchen – Burky and Tommy must be home now. They sound calm, but that doesn’t mean they’re not unhappy about the mess. Nicky hasn’t felt this mortified in a long time. “I’m fine.”

Ovi leans over and licks him, slurping the catsup off his fur revoltingly. 

Nicky shudders, but leans into Ovi.

“I think our humans are worried about your hatred of catsup,” Ovi tells him, spitting out a rose petal.

“They don’t need three bottles of anything with that much sugar,” Nicky replies. “And you don’t have to do this.”

Ovi keeps grooming him until they hear footsteps in the bedroom. Nicky looks up to see all three of their humans looking at them. Burky is laughing around a burger. Tommy is holding the chocolate tower. Latts has his arms around Burky and Tommy. They’re all smiling.

Nicky smiles back at them, then turns and smiles at Ovi. “Happy Valentine’s Day.” 

Ovi purrs and licks his face. “Happy Valentine’s Day.” 

There’s a mess to be cleaned up, and Nicky still feels mortified, but he’s celebrating a holiday surrounded by the family he loves. He can see the appeal.

**Author's Note:**

> Come chat with us on Tumblr at [Fourthlinewinger](https://fourthlinewinger.tumblr.com) and [Love-Your-Goalie](https://love-your-goalie.tumblr.com).


End file.
